Things should have been simple....

Let me just say it's hard not having internet. I find it hard to pretty much do anything. It's amazing how dependent you can be on something so "new". But that doesn't stop this girl. Though it has been a long time since my last blog, and as dark and depressing as it was, I am glad to be out of that place; mentally at least. 

In less then two weeks I will be approaching my 25th birthday, and I am scared shitless. Why, I'm only turning another year older. I've already gone through my "quarter-life-crisis", so this shouldn't be that bad. But in reality, I haven't gotten where I've wanted to be, expect being married :) Now is my time to make those adult decisions  and get myself out of this place that is causing my insanity.

While turning 25 may scare me, let me give you the top 10 things that have shaped me over the years. I was going to do 25 but that would have taken for ever....

10. My Aunt Jean

You never know what you missed until it's really gone, and after reading her memoirs she gave me so much hope for my life. She lead a very good life, one I hope I can live as well. 

9. Buffy The Vampire Slayer 

I can honestly say there is no other show like it. Joss Wheldon is a genius. I grew up with this show like many others did. I learned about life, love, how to live in the moment, and how to save the world... a lot. Not only did this show open my mind to being gay, but the fact that it didn't matter. Willow was the same character I loved from the beginning, she just like girls. And I commend the Buffy crew for sticking through 7 seasons and still keeping us on our toes. 

8. Myself

It's hard getting to know yourself when your still trying to learn about the world. I can't say that I'm there yet, but I am pretty happy with where my life is taking me. I know that one day I will reach my dreams, until that day, this is me.

7.  Words

Words are a vital part of our world. And it is my honor to have the ability to manipulate them just so that they make amazing art. I write to ease my mind, free my soul, give hope, and understanding to others. 

6. Rosie O'Donnell

If my mom had never read her book, I probably wouldn't have come to conclusions that I have. While reading the book, my mother tells me she could see me in a lesbian relationship. From that moment, I pondered the idea, it wasn't until one amazing night after a party (actually it was Queer Prom in Denver '06) that I came out as being a lesbian. Not a few months later did I go back into closet while moving to Branson, MO, only to find myself unhappy. A year later I came out and the next year this happened:

Since then I'm proud to be gay, a married gay at that. 

5. My friends

Calvin, if it wasn't for him, I'd have no fashion what so ever. I'd still be wearing Over-alls and have horrible hair. Even though our paths have winded away from each other a time or two, he is my adopted brother. And if anyone could be my gay male side, it's him. 

Priscilla, one of my rocks since High School one of the many people who have helped me past my demons and introducing me to the love of my life. 

4. Religion

My faith and spirituality can not be defined by just one religion, nor could I rule out science in my beliefs. It is one of the driving forces in my life that I can never turn away from. I may consider myself Christian and also Paganism but I am not bound by any branch but my own beliefs.

3. Food

 Cooking has become the one thing that can keep my busy enough that everything else melts away. Not only do I love to eat different things, but I love learning new tricks of the trade.  I find cooking for myself a bore, but cooking for others is amazing!

2. Music 

Music is the one constant in my life. I remember being a little girl dancing around in my room singing as loud as can be. I was in choir until I graduated High School, and since then I've lent my voice to many karaoke tunes. The group I could never get enough of is The Cranberries, and I along with multiple fans will wait patiently while they record their new album and if they go on tour in the states, I will be there in crowd singing along with every single song.  

1b. Ronda

She is the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with, my best friend, my partner in crime, my rock, my number one fan. Without her, this world would be empty. And while the first 8 months of our marriage has been tough, she is still the one I want. I love you!

1a. The rest of my family

Though we may be small, we are still one heck of a family. I thank my mother everyday, for the life she has given me. It may not have been perfect, but it was the way fate had it. 

Until next time my fellow readers. Alonze