The day I turned on Emptiness

When finding emptiness, just when you think you've lost it, it slaps you right when you least expect it. I wasn't really looking for it, it found me. It stole everything from me. My life, my purpose, and my reason. So why did it choose now. Now is clearly not the time. Of course, it doesn't care, just like you or I don't care for it. So why now? I have everything, a wife, a family, many friends, a job, a roof over my head, so why does emptiness feel like this is the right time. I ask it so many times, most times it does not reply. But today, today was the day it looked me dead in the eye and said:

'For a child to know their true existence, they must first go through the trials of utter bliss and sadness. Having everything you could possible know, every fiber of life, all hopes and dreams, shattered in a simple moment. When you are left as naked as you were the day you were born. Only this time, your standing there for everyone to see. The whole world will stop and ponder why your shell, why your being is in their life. You can't live your life with a mask on, you can't pretend what they want of you. You have to live your life to set that example so they know, so they can understand who you are to them. Because in the end, I appear. I walk in valiantly, sweeping you away to a world where the only thing that exists is you and the voices we keep locked inside your head. Thats not silence you hear, it's us. Implanting the seed of self doubt and humiliation.'

With that moment I knew, just as I know now, it is nothing but a curse that wrecks havoc on our mind, body, and soul. That, when the time is right, we are left a victim of our own insecurities. Beaten and battered into it's submission. It's not the devil, it's not someone else's doing, it's our own inner battle. For some, that battle is so strong inside, reality becomes part of the person that we once knew. For others, like myself, have thrown in the towel. I have called a truce. Neither shall win. Neither shall lose.

So how do we get back to what should be? How do we fill that battle ground that is nothing but an empty void inside our essence? Your asking the wrong questions.

What do I love? What keeps you from staying in the darkness to long? What is the most important thing you believe in?

It's when you can answer that, with only hearing your own voice, have you become re-born into the person you were meant to be. All of that emptiness has been driven away into a world neither you or I shall have see. Because that world, is more horrifying then one that houses our own purgatory.